Just An Update

Well, it's been awhile again. I was going to blog the very next week after my last one, but the hurt was too bad. I couldn't believe that all the loss wasn't over for the month of July. July 10 we had to put down Sammy, our 9 year old yellow lab. She was my baby, my friend when no one else was, the one who was always excited to see me no matter what mood I was in. We are pretty sure she had some sort of a stroke and dad decided it would be best for her not to live in a hazy cloud that the drugs we were trying to give her made her be in for the rest of her life. I still miss her. She is always in my heart and I think of her all the time. Allen doesn't seem to understand, but I think that's because he grew up on a farm, where if something got sick, you just shot it. He never had an indoor pet who was always by your side. Before we had to put Sam down, I was begging for a dog. I even told him I didn't care what it was, we could even rescue one from the Humane Society, just as long as I could get a dog. But after going through that with Sam, I have changed my mind. I don't want to love something like that and have to let it go again. July was a month of too much sadness and death. I don't want to go to another funeral or have to say good bye to someone I love for a long time.

On to August...a seriously hot month.

We didn't really go to either of our parent's houses too much. Maybe just to Menno once. One weekend, I went with Allen's brother Daniel to a Lifehouse and Spill Canvas concert. I was getting seriously pouty because Lifehouse wasn't playing the song that I came to the concert to hear, and finally...during the encore they played it! The very last song! Great ending to a very fun night! Then, last week we went to the Parker fair. I watched a man, while trying to convince his son that the camel there wasn't scary, get bit by the baby camel in an inconvenient body part...hilarious!

This weekend, we had our camping trip to Yankton with our group of friends. It was so fun! Kyle & Amanda, Ryan & Cassie, Ben, Julie & Leah all came and tented! We had a blast! It was crazy humid Saturday, so Julie, Leah and I escaped to some air conditioning for awhile while everyone else went tubing-which was fine with me because the sun doesn't do kind things to me and I don't tube after a terrible, scary, horrifying tubing experience (it probably wasn't that bad, but it made me think twice before I get on one!) Sunday morning I had to head back early because I had to work at a bridal show. It was good, met lots of brides! Afterwards we went out to Nutty's South for a few drinks and then headed to the races at Huset's. It was a great night!

Last night, Julie and I went on a girl date. Out for supper at Quizno's and then to the movie Eat Pray Love. It was really good and thought provoking. Different from any movie I remember seeing. I found in interesting that the point of the movie was to find balance and simplify your life, getting rid of what you don't need, but we paid to see it and be entertained...weird.

Tonight, I made apple cake and pie from Rano & Cindy's apples that they sent home with Daniel! Can't wait til they get out of the oven, they smell great!

Have a great night and rest of the week!

Trying Times

These past three weeks have been full of emotions...happiness, relaxation, enjoying family time, sadness, hurt, joyful, and a longing for things to stop the way they are going.

June 11-18

We spent in Canada with family and friends. It was a great week of relaxing, catching giant fish, laughing, being creative enough to create dessert from 5 ingredients we happen to have in the cabin, killing lots of bugs, watching an otter rob us of our minnows, and two 17 hour car rides. It was a complete blast!Here are some of our boats all lined up waiting to go out the next morning. The one closest and the next one are ours. But you can't see Grandpa's cuz its way down the line!
This is my 22 inch walleye that I let Allen hold for me! Love catching the big ones!

June 20

We got to Canada on Friday and on Saturday morning, I had an email from my uncle that Grandma Van De Brake (the mom of my Grandma that was with us) was not doing very well and that they should think about coming home. They decided to stay until they got news that she was gone. We got home Friday night of the next week and she passed on Sunday.
We left my parents house on Saturday, after saying a difficult good bye to my sister, who will be spending the next 4 years in Texas as a nurse with the Air Force. Then, we headed back to Iowa on Tuesday for family visitation and the funeral on Wednesday, where Allen and I were both pall bearers. It was a joyous occasion because she had been in the nursing home for a long time and she has Alzheimer's, so she really wasn't Grandma anymore, but it was still hard because it was a final good bye, combined with the good bye for Teri.

July 1

On Wednesday, June 30, my mom called to let me know that my last great grandma, Grandma Dottie, was not doing well. This 96 year old lady, who had been in the nursing home for 13 years, was very special to me. Unlike Grandma Van De Brake, Grandma Dottie still knew who I was once I told her (she was blind), and she prayed for us by name every single night. I spent much of my time in grade school at her house after school and throughout the summer. She was the Grandma who taught me to memorize Psalm 23, she taught me to pray on my knees by the bed every night, she always had cookies and let us drink coffee that had more milk and sugar in it than actual coffee. She was the best.

She passed away on Thursday. This day sucked.

Friday night was family visitation. I was prepared. I am not a crier. I just don't do it. I didn't cry, but then I didn't really go up and look at her either. We spent the rest of the night with my family in Sheldon at the fireworks. It was nice to relax and hang out with them! The show was pretty good, but the best part of the night was dad getting whistled at by the cop...hilarious!

Saturday morning came and went, the prayer service started at 1 and I had a bad feeling...you know that one you get deep down in your stomach and it makes you want to run the other way so that you don't have to face what is in front of you...
I lost it...I realized that I loved this Grandma so much, I didn't want her to be gone. She prayed for us every night, like the Pastor Carl said, we lost a prayer warrior. She was the best. I hate realizing things like that. I usually just tune out so that I don't have to face what I don't want to. But there she was, it's hard to tune it out when its right in front of you. We headed to the cemetery and laid the best great grandma in the world to rest with her husband who has been gone since the 50's. It was no fun. I wish that hearing people say "She's where she wanted to be for 13 years" and "She's in a better place" would have brought me comfort that day, but it didn't. I know and understand that those are both true, but on Saturday, it's not what I wanted to hear. I love her and miss her and I know that she is still praying for us everyday, only now its face to face with Jesus!

So all in all, these last three weeks have been horrible and wonderful all at the same time. I am so blessed with friends and family who have comforted and hugged me and told me that they love me. I love my husband all the more for his soft heart and comforting words during these past three weeks. He is so wonderful to me, and he knows just what I need to hear. And I thank Jesus for walking the shadow of death with me and bringing me out into the light.

This Weather is BEAUTIFUL

I love this weather! It makes me so happy to look outside and see the bright sun, green grass, people walking their dogs (makes me want one!), kids riding bikes (makes me want one of those too!), couples walking hand in had down the road, bright flowers popping up all over, all of the beautiful things God gives us during the springtime! I just love this time of year! I can't wait to plant my garden. I bought all the goods today- tomatoes, green peppers, red peppers, jalapenos, green beans, onions, peas, carrots, cucumbers, lettuce, spinach, zucchini, summer squash, and sweet corn! It's all gonna be so good! I bought some new flowers to get planted in my pots and around the house to replace the ones that didn't survive the ridiculous winter. I will have to take some pictures and post them up here once they are all planted. I am also trying to grow an indoor herb garden with cilantro, basil, and parsley. We will see how that goes! Well, I'm gonna go out and enjoy the weather while pretending I have a puppy to walk! Have a great day~get out there and enjoy it!

Life is sometimes dissapointing

Has anyone else ever noticed that when you start doing things right and life is going well, a roadblock pops up and tries to ruin everything? I have been waking up early and doing a half an hour of devotions with my God, starting my day out on the right foot. It has been wonderful. I am not a morning person at all, but it has been so refreshing and a time that I have started looking forward to. Then, on Good Friday, we went to church and it was really a time of self-examination for me. I am so humbled when I think about all that God sacrificed for me, and each Good Friday service I attend, it seems to hit me harder and harder. This year, I was hit really hard by something that the Pastor said that I had never thought of before. The crown of thorns placed on Jesus head, where did it come from? My first thought was a rose. But the Pastor blew me away with his response. Go back to Genesis he said. Ok...In the garden of Eden, Adam and Eve sinned and God said that thorns and thistles would cover the earth. The thorns were a direct effect of our sins. Our sins were on His head. I was stunned. Why had I never thought of that before? Sometimes I am disappointed in how naive I can be. So with this heavy on my heart, we head home. It is still on my heart today, even after Easter. Sometimes things like that are just what I need to hear to put a new perspective on something that has been in my life as long as I can remember. I didn't go to the Good Friday service expecting to learn something new, I thought I knew it all. How wrong was I?
The next day wasn't so great. Hence the title. No details, but it just kind of sucked and disappointed me. I have got to learn sometime soon in my life that people will disappoint me, and no matter how much I hope that I am wrong about something or someone, I can't change them. I can't just will them to be who I want them to be. And it sucks that I have realized this over and over by being disappointed. So waking up on Sunday morning, I wasn't exactly in the Easter morning mood. I was still in Good Friday mood, sad and gloomy. Church was good, we were greeters and I love seeing smiles on other people's faces. I also love hugs, so it was a good place for me to be. We spent the afternoon in Lake Preston with Allen's family. It was good to see everyone and spend time with them again.
It has been an interesting week in the heart of Tracy, I have felt a whole array of emotions and I am still figuring out how to deal with some of them. But I will continue in my devotion time and pray that God can help me sort them out. Because with God, everything will make sense eventually.

Wordless Wednesday

An Update on Our Average Life

We have honestly not been up to much lately, which is just fine with me! From October until after Christmas, we were gone for 13 weekends in a row...I am so thankful to just stay home! Last night Allen and I just had a movie night at home by ourselves. I just love it when we can just relax and hang out together! We watch Julie and Julia, which was pretty good, but not overly exciting, which made it hard for me to stay awake! This morning we are headed to the mall to do a Mall Walk to benefit diabetes I think...it's with some guys that Allen works with. That should be fun and we get some exercise out of the deal. Then, since we are at the mall anyway, we are gonna look for new tennis shoes for the both of us. The bottom of ours no longer has grip and the arch support in mine is gone! I guess that's what happens when you stand on cement all day! I think after that Allen is going to go and try to get his tree stand out and take it home while I clean the house. That should be overly exciting...blah...

Tomorrow we head to church and then who knows what for the afternoon. The pro bowl is on, but I really don't enjoy that game so much...but next week...GO SAINTS!!!

I started doing the Love Dare, which is different than I thought it was, the when I read it, it really makes me thankful for the love that Allen and I have for each other and for the Lord. A lot of couples have lost both of those loves and I can't imagine trying to get them both back! Yikes!

I hope everyone is staying warm on these chilly days! Makes me thankful for my house, even if my husband keeps the temp at nearly freezing...lol

Thanks all for now folks!

The New Year

Happy New Year! Allen & I brought in the New Year at brother Paul's house. Since he only lives about a block away, we didn't have too far to go! There were a ton of people there and we had so much fun hanging out with everyone!
As I sat back and thought about this last year, it surprised me how fast it went. This is already our second New Year as a married couple! It still feels so new sometimes! We have so many things to praise God for in the past year.

1) My mom had lump in her breast that Sioux Center didn't want to look at, they said it was too big. They sent the mammogram to Sioux Falls and when she went to see the doctor, they couldn't find it! It was just gone!

2) Grandpa Byl had successful lung cancer surgery, and although he is healing slower than he would like, the important thing to remember is that the cancer is gone and he is, in fact, healing!

3) Our cousin's little guy Kade was put into the hospital and the didn't know what was going on with him. After some scary options were given, he turned the corner and is doing just great!

4) We had no funerals to attend for immediate family members. Allen lost two great uncles, but we are thankful we have not had to attend more than that.

5) Many, many, many friends who got married this year! I get so excited for weddings and we had a TON to go to this year!

6) Healthy babies and pregnancies that are going well!

7) Family time-we have spent a lot of time with both of our families, even though we live an hour away from both. Sometimes I complain that we are never home, but I always enjoy family time!

God has blessed us in many many more ways throughout this past year, each and everyday! We can't wait to see what He has in store for us in the coming year. We just pray that we follow His guidance in our lives and that we continue to see His blessings each day!