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Monday, July 5, 2010

Trying Times


These past three weeks have been full of emotions...happiness, relaxation, enjoying family time, sadness, hurt, joyful, and a longing for things to stop the way they are going.

June 11-18
We spent in Canada with family and friends. It was a great week of relaxing, catching giant fish, laughing, being creative enough to create dessert from 5 ingredients we happen to have in the cabin, killing lots of bugs, watching an otter rob us of our minnows, and two 17 hour car rides. It was a complete blast!Here are some of our boats all lined up waiting to go out the next morning. The one closest and the next one are ours. But you can't see Grandpa's cuz its way down the line!
This is my 22 inch walleye that I let Allen hold for me! Love catching the big ones!

June 20
We got to Canada on Friday and on Saturday morning, I had an email from my uncle that Grandma Van De Brake (the mom of my Grandma that was with us) was not doing very well and that they should think about coming home. They decided to stay until they got news that she was gone. We got home Friday night of the next week and she passed on Sunday.
We left my parents house on Saturday, after saying a difficult good bye to my sister, who will be spending the next 4 years in Texas as a nurse with the Air Force. Then, we headed back to Iowa on Tuesday for family visitation and the funeral on Wednesday, where Allen and I were both pall bearers. It was a joyous occasion because she had been in the nursing home for a long time and she has Alzheimer's, so she really wasn't Grandma anymore, but it was still hard because it was a final good bye, combined with the good bye for Teri.

July 1
On Wednesday, June 30, my mom called to let me know that my last great grandma, Grandma Dottie, was not doing well. This 96 year old lady, who had been in the nursing home for 13 years, was very special to me. Unlike Grandma Van De Brake, Grandma Dottie still knew who I was once I told her (she was blind), and she prayed for us by name every single night. I spent much of my time in grade school at her house after school and throughout the summer. She was the Grandma who taught me to memorize Psalm 23, she taught me to pray on my knees by the bed every night, she always had cookies and let us drink coffee that had more milk and sugar in it than actual coffee. She was the best.

She passed away on Thursday. This day sucked.

Friday night was family visitation. I was prepared. I am not a crier. I just don't do it. I didn't cry, but then I didn't really go up and look at her either. We spent the rest of the night with my family in Sheldon at the fireworks. It was nice to relax and hang out with them! The show was pretty good, but the best part of the night was dad getting whistled at by the cop...hilarious!

Saturday morning came and went, the prayer service started at 1 and I had a bad feeling...you know that one you get deep down in your stomach and it makes you want to run the other way so that you don't have to face what is in front of you...
I lost it...I realized that I loved this Grandma so much, I didn't want her to be gone. She prayed for us every night, like the Pastor Carl said, we lost a prayer warrior. She was the best. I hate realizing things like that. I usually just tune out so that I don't have to face what I don't want to. But there she was, it's hard to tune it out when its right in front of you. We headed to the cemetery and laid the best great grandma in the world to rest with her husband who has been gone since the 50's. It was no fun. I wish that hearing people say "She's where she wanted to be for 13 years" and "She's in a better place" would have brought me comfort that day, but it didn't. I know and understand that those are both true, but on Saturday, it's not what I wanted to hear. I love her and miss her and I know that she is still praying for us everyday, only now its face to face with Jesus!

So all in all, these last three weeks have been horrible and wonderful all at the same time. I am so blessed with friends and family who have comforted and hugged me and told me that they love me. I love my husband all the more for his soft heart and comforting words during these past three weeks. He is so wonderful to me, and he knows just what I need to hear. And I thank Jesus for walking the shadow of death with me and bringing me out into the light.







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